Update

Since my last post, there have been some changes in our lives:

1. I'm working full time as a night shift ER nurse.
2. Pat's in full-time grad school
3. We're attending Willow Chicago Church
4. We're putting the adoption on hold indefinitely for financial reasons

That pretty much sums up our life right now. I'm getting sick more frequently than I'd care to...mostly because I work in a human petri dish, and my body doesn't know day from night anymore. Hopefully my immune system will get used to the exposure, and a day time shift will open up for me!

A rollercoaster of changes

There haven't been a lot of postings recently, because I don't know even where to begin. But its time for an update.

Pat has resigned as the junior high pastor after 3 years of service at our church. It has been hard to say goodbye to our church family, but we trust that God will lead us to the place we will be most effective! He is feeling lead to pastor high schoolers.

Today was my last day singing and playing on the worship team. It was very sad to say goodbye to my team that I have lead worship with for the past 3 years. I will really miss it.

I am in the process of interviewing for ER nurse jobs...hopefully I'll be starting one in August.

As far as the adoption goes, we are waiting to initiate unitl we both have jobs. We will need the extra money to afford the adoption and a home large enough for a second child. Our hearts are aching to bring a little baby boy home from Rwanda, but we are learning patience as life has not gone as expected in the past few months!

As of July 24, we will be jobless.

This has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, and the lack of knowing what our future holds has definitely taken me out of my comfort zone.

On the other hand, we have a clean slate right now, and it is exciting to see where God plans to lead our family!

Reaghan's Dream

This morning I asked Reaghan if she had sweet dreams last night.

She said yes.

I asked her what she dreamed about.

She said 'American Idol!' (We watch it together on Tuesdays)

I asked her who won American Idol...

She said "Daddy!"

So if you are placing bets on who will win the competition this year, consider Reaghan's prophecy :)

Rwanda Update

For those of you who are interested in our adoption process, here's the scoop:

We have selected our organization, America World Adoption Association.
We have selected our country: Rwanda
We have selected the gender: Boy
and the age: Less than 6 months old

We want so badly to jump into the "official" process, but need to wait until I get a job so we can afford it!

I am not going to get a job for the summer since we have so many youth group events/trips and family vacations planned.

SO, if all goes according to plan (and things rarely do!) we will submit our official application in September.

Since we decided to adopt in November, this year has been a good lesson on patience and waiting on the Lord. I want so badly to bring our baby home, but know that it is all in God's hands and in His timing.

In the meanwhile, we've met (via the internet) other families who have gone down this path, or are currently going through the process. Hearing their stories gives us something to look forward to!

A Better Day

Today I think I turned a corner. We joined the YMCA this morning, which includes 2 hours of free babysitting everyday in their childcare center! Today I sweated on the bike and then relaxed in the sauna. Reaghan really enjoyed the play room. We might make that a morning ritual. It felt good to get out and move.

I've got a quiche cooking in the oven, mascara on my eyelashes, laundry in the dryer and fresh watermelon sliced in the fridge. I am the epitome of a domestic goddess.

Suddenly feeling lost

I'm going through nursing school withdrawal. The last few months, I've been telling everyone that the closer I get to graduating, the more I just want to stay home and be a mom. Now I'm 3 days out after finishing school, and frankly I don't know what to do with myself. It's hard to see the value of changing diapers, looking at giraffes at the zoo, and making countless pb&j's. I know in the long term, I am having an important influence on Reaghan's growth and development, but it's hard to see in the day-to-day routine.

I am going to go back to work this fall, full time for now, then hopefully part time at some point. For now, I just need to take a deep breath and enjoy the time with Reaghan.

People always say that being a mom is the hardest job in the world...I'm beginning to understand that. There's no paycheck, little cognitive stimulation, and little gratitude. But I know in the long term, God is using me to help shape my little girl's heart.

So close to the finish line

Tomorrow I take my exit exam for Morton College. It's a biggie---you have to pass it with an 850 or higher in order to graduate. I've done really well in the program, but it's still nerve-racking. I've already taken 2 Ibuprofens today for a stress-induced headache.

On the bright side, Sunday will be my LAST DAY of school...I'll be working on the organ transplant floor again at CMH, which is a great way to end my three-year journey for my R.N. (Still have to pass the NCLEX-RN exam, of course, but I'll be done with MC).

The closer I get to graduating, and starting to look for employment, the more and more I just want to stay home and raise my kids & help with the youth group. That's been my dream since I was in eighth grade: be a stay-at-home-mom and youth pastor's wife. Not really an option for us, if we ever want to move out of Pat's grandparents basement, though. We are so grateful that they have let us live here for free while I was in school, but the time is coming that we will need to move on.

Hopefully I can just work part-time so our kids can be raised by their parents.

I don't know if this desire to stay home with them is my own dream that I need to let go of, or if it is God's tug on my heart to find a way to make it work. God give me (& Pat) direction in this area.

Easter Pic

Reaghan seeing the Easter Bunny come to ANPH

Organ Donation

This past weekend I worked on the organ transplant floor of Children's Memorial Hospital. It's an interesting floor because you see some kids who are still waiting for their transplant, barely holding onto life. Their parents are in despair, holding on to a glimmer of hope than an organ will become available. Then you have other patients who just received their new organ, and are completely different kids. Their families are relieved, elated, and yet terrified of organ rejection.

Working on this unit has reminded me of how important becoming an organ donor is...If you haven't already, please become an organ donor and sign the back of your driver's license!

Wild Animals

Yes we went to Brookfield Zoo today. We go almost weekly since it's so close and we have a membership. Today's trip was different than most, however. It seems that EVERYONE in Chicago had the same idea we did, and the zoo was, well, a ZOO! We saw more people than animals, and some of the people were acting well, like wild animals!

I guess it was a good practice round for Disney World next month. I've always hated those toddler "leashes"...I don't like the idea of "walking" my daughter...but after fighting through the crowds today, I'm beginning to wonder if it's necessary...Reaghan can weave in and out of a crowd a lot faster than I can, and she's very bold.

All whining aside, we had a great time at the zoo in the sunshine. It was a good study break and fun family time.

NOW back to the books...

We're Ba-ack!

Hello again, folks. Long time no talk. Ok so it's been almost a year since I quit blogging...and I think I'm going to give it a whirl again. I was mostly inspired to start again because I have gained a new friend whose blog I follow, Jamie Jo Braner, who adopted a little girl from Rwanda about a year ago through the same organization that Pat and I are going through. Actually, she and her husband were the FIRST family to adopt from Rwanda through our program...Thanks for paving the way for the rest of us, Braner family!

Anyway, back to Berwyn. This year has been busy...I'll try to sum it up in a few words...

School, Church, Toddler, Pottytraining, Family.

So I graduate about a month from now with my R.N. degree. When I started this school nonsense about three years ago, I thought that by the time I graduated I'd know it all...oh how wrong I was! The more I learn, the more I realize I still don't know.

I'm beginning to get nervous about finding the right job, and being good at it.

I just need to trust that God has brought me this far and he'll see me through, right? Cast your cares unto Him for he cares for You.

Well, time to get back to studying.

I am hoping to start being more consistent with the blog, and posting more photos (to the delight of my non-facebook family, I'm sure!)

Love,
Meredith